Friends With Benefits
by RachelGlasser
Summary: Tiva McAbby. McGee and Abby are bored, Abby suggests a remedy and just what has Tony been doing at Ziva's place for the past three months? Spoilers for 'Shalom'.
1. Boredom in the Lab

**Summary: **McGee and Abby are bored, Abby suggests a remedy and just what has Tony been doing at Ziva's place for the past three months? This summary sucks, but hopefully much more than the story does!

**Spoilers:** Shalom.

**A/N: ** This is my first fan fic ever, so please review! This is based on a dream I had last night. Sounds creepy, hopefully it isn't.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own NCIS (lucky for us), I don't own the characters, I don't own the settings, in fact all I own is a couple of old Doors LPs and a postcard from Sweden...

Abby and McGee were processing some samples in Abby's lab. It had been a really, really slow couple of days at NCIS, no big cases, run of the mill forensics to process, and Abby was getting majorly twitchy. McGee had noticed of course, but he just assumed it was a side effect of all the Caf-Pow she drank.

Watching the seconds tick away, Abby decided she'd finally had enough of the tedium.

"McGee!".

McGee unceremoniously began to fall off his chair, but managed to reposition himself at the last moment, without ending up on the floor.

"Uh, yeah Abs?" he said, yawning a little.

"I'm really, really freakin bored" she stated as she dejectedly sunk lower in her chair.

"Hmmm, I know how you feel" mused McGee as he blinked a few times to make sure he was awake. He had been having a particularly nice day dream, something about World of Warcraft and a bubble bath...

"Good. So we should do it then." proclaimed Abby.

"Uh do what Abs?" he asked tentatively. He had an idea what 'it' was, but he was pretty sure it wasn't the same 'it' Abby was talking about.

Abby looked at him with a 'duh' expression, as though he'd just asked her if she wanted another Caf-Pow. Speaking of which, he was kinda thirsty. Surely Abby wouldn't mind if he drank some of hers...

"Sex, of course".

The Caf-Pow went two ways, some involuntarily snorted into McGee's nasal cavity, the rest sprayed over his MIT t-shirt and jeans. He tried to say something, but coughs came out instead of words. Abby brought him some water, and after a few sips he managed to regain some composure.

"But Abs, I thought, y'know..." started McGee nervously, "I thought, when I transferred from Norfolk to Gibbs team, well, we talked about 'us' and we decided that we should just be friends".

Abby was listening to this whilst looking at McGee with a very attentive expression on her face.

"Oh, I know McGee, and I stand by our decision".

McGee again spurted liquid, this time water, all down the front of his t-shirt.

"Um, okay Abs, but now I'm really confused. Didn't you just suggest that we have sex? As in, well, sex?"

Abby rolled her eyes and procured herself another Caf-Pow from one of the fridges.

"Oh c'mon McGee. Just because we're friends doesn't mean we can't have sex and still be friends afterwards".

McGee still looked a little confused. Before he could respond, Abby interrupted him again.

"Besides," she shrugged "Tony and Ziva do it, and it doesn't effect their work".

This time McGee did fall out of his chair.

_To be continued..._

**A/N:** Sorry, I know that's a lame place to finish, and this chapter's kinda short, but I have to go write an essay. Oh, and I promise some Tiva next chapter. Review away people!


	2. Charades

**A/N: ** Thanks to my lovely reviewers! Just a short, quick one before I start a longer, much better written Tiva oriented chapter. Any suggestions/reviews are muchly appreciated.

**Disclaimer: **All in Chapter 1.

McGee was still flailing around on the floor when the Forensics Lab doors whooshed open. Ziva walked in looking quite perplexed at the situation presented in front of her. This look, however, only lasted for a few seconds before a sly smile crept into the corners of her lips.

"Titanic!"

McGee and Abby looked up to see a very pleased Ziva staring down at them.

"Titanic?" was all a bewildered Abby could manage to utter amidst the confusion.

"Yes, Titanic!" exclaimed Ziva, clearly excited at the opportunity to show off her pop-culture prowess without Tony butting in.

"I have actually seen this film, it's the one where the large cruise liner sinks, yes?" continued Ziva, "And at the end, which," she added "could not have arrived sooner in my opinion, the girl with the necklace, uh...Daisy, no...Buttercup? No...". Ziva slapped her forehead in irritation, as if that would make her remember quicker.

"Rose?" offered an increasingly befuddled McGee, who had by then reseated himself at the computer desk and had begun to exchange worried looks with Abby.

"Yes!" yelled Ziva, pointing at McGee with a somewhat crazed look in her eyes. It reminded him of the look on the faces of the vampires in the movies Abby would watch with him, just before they made their kill...

"At the end she was lying on a door in the ocean while the other one drowned!" exclaimed Ziva, who looked as though she had just correctly answered a million dollar question. "You!" she pointed at McGee again, "You are the other one, the drowning man, yes!"

If McGee could possibly look more confused, he did. Abby realized what was happening and began to giggle quietly.

"You are not playing charades?" asked a somewhat crestfallen Ziva.

"Uh, no Ziva, we weren't playing charades" sighed McGee as he finally pieced together what was going on, and shot Abby an 'I-wouldn't-keep-giggling-if-you-want-to-live' stare.

"Oh. McGee?"

"Yes Ziva"

She smiled playfully at McGee, like a cat teasing the mouse it has just caught, "If you weren't playing charades, then what were you doing on the floor?"

Abby burst out giggling once again, this time unable to control herself.

_To be continued..._


End file.
